you know there's an issue when...

... a passenger looks uncomfortable, you ask them if they are alright and they respond, "I think I'll be okay, do you have a catheter?"

to puke or not to puke, that is the question....

So... I am working a flight with two of my friends who don't know each other. In introducing them to each other, I say, "Stephanie, this is Sean." "And Sean, this is Stephanie. She doesn't do puke."
Later during the flight, they are on the beverage cart in the back and I am up in first class. Suddenly, Steph rushes into the front galley, grabs a fresh bag of coffee and puts it up to her nose. Immediately, I know that someone has thrown up. I have her stay up front and serve first class and I go to help Sean in the back.
When I get there, I discover that not only has someone thrown up, but has thrown up on the outside of the beverage cart, in the beverage cart, on her seat, and all over the floor! We pull the cart in the back, help the passenger to the bathroom and make sure she is alright, get her a plastic bag and her suitcase so she can change her clothes, and then try to clean up.
We put this powder stuff on the puke to soak it up and mask the smell. There is so much on the floor that we just put a blanket over the area, wipe down the seats, and reseat passengers who are getting sick because of the smell. The sick passenger is also reseated, feeling much better after getting rid of whatever was ailing her in the first place. We put away the puked-on cart and open another cart to finish serving the rest of the passengers their drinks.
When other passengers notice the cart is out of the aisle, they start coming back to use the lavatories. None of them know there has been a puke incident, they step on the blanket, or try to step over over the blanket, (but sometimes it catches on their shoes and they pull it down the aisle by accident!) Ick!!! One lady sees the blanket on the floor and tries to pick it up so she can fold it and put it away."NO, STOP!!!!!"
Sean picks up the p/a and makes an announcement:
"Ladies and gentlemen, the cart is out of the aisle, and many of you are coming back to use the lavatories. You will notice a blanket on the floor in the aisle at row 22. Do not move the blanket. Do not step on it. Do not pick it up. Do not look under it - you do not want to see what is under there."
After that, we have no more problems with the blanket and the puke. The remainder of the flight goes smoothly, the passengers use caution when stepping over the blanket, the lady feels better, Stephanie finishes the flight with a coffee bag up to her nose, and everyone is doing fine.
One last announcement is made as we pull into the gate:
"Ladies and gentlemen, if you are seated in the aft of the cabin, we remind you of the blanket at row 22. Please do not step on the blanket. Do not pull your suitcase over the blanket. Pick up your suitcase, step over the blanket, and then set your suitcase down and continue down the aisle. Thank you, and have a pleasant day."

Raining cats and dogs? noooo.....

One day, I was going through the cabin, preparing for departure. I was making sure the passengers had their seatbelts on, seatbacks and tray tables up and locked, carry-ons stowed, lap babies held the right way, exit rows briefed, etc. I was also closing the overhead bins while doing all of the above, with two cups of limes and lemons in my hand.

As I'm closing the bins, one didn't latch and it popped back up, hitting the bottom of the cup of limes and tipping it over. In reaction, I reached with my other hand to try to catch it, only I forgot that hand was already occupied with the cup of lemons!!! Both cups flipped upside down and the entire contents fell onto the gentleman sitting below!!!

Flustered, I said, 'Oh my gosh! It's raining limes and lemons!" Lucky for me, he actually wasn't upset! As we were cleaning up the mess and after apologizing profusely, I said, "Wow, that's never happened to me before!" He looked at me with a twinkle in his eye and said, "Me neither."

Sweet angel....

On a flight from Anchorage to Seattle, a woman boarded the plane. She had long silver-gray hair pulled into two braids that hung to her waist. She was carrying a small child, who was hooked up to IV's and tubes. He was crying, and she was trying to console him. Struggling with her bags, we assisted her to her seat, giving her pillows and blankets to help get the child more comfortable.
The woman's name was Jill, a doctor from Alaska. Since the early 90's, she had been going to Sudan to care for the children there. This year, for the first time, she brought someone home with her. The little boy in her arms was 6-year old, Gatmai. They were on their way to Boston, where there was a team of doctors ready to perform surgery on this sweet child. Without the surgery, he would die.
He was in such pain, and he was trying to be so brave, but every once in a while, he would just cry out... She spoke to him in his native tongue, asking where it hurt and telling him that he was brave and that we would get there as soon as we could. She stayed vigilant and by his side, not needing or wanting anything but just to make it there... They made it through the 3 1/2 hour flight. I kept thinking about the 5+ hour all-nighter they had ahead of them... I couldn't imagine how tired they both must have been.
After everyone deplaned, we helped her with her bags and she lifted little Gatmai and carried him to his stroller. He was in so much pain... We got her all set up w/ her bags and I told her I was going to stay with her and help her until she left for Boston.
Thank goodness for the family bathroom; a large room w/ a toilet, sink, countertop- and privacy. While she was in the bathroom with Gatmai, she was able to clean him up, wash his sores, flush out his stomach, and get ready for the next part of their journey. I went to the little magazine shop in the airport - and was surprised and relieved that they sold diapers and wipes. I was also able to give a heads-up to the customer service agents and brief the flight attendants for the next flight, so they knew the situation and the best way to assist Jill and Gatmai. They were all awesome, and I knew Jill and Gatmai would be taken care of.
I went back to the bathroom to help Jill finish getting everything ready. Gatmai seemed more comfortable, but he had soiled his favorite blanket by accident. I went back to the shop, got a new blanket, blue, his favorite color. I took it to him and laid the soft blanket over his thin, little body. Jill told him it was a gift from his new friend. He looked up at me and for the first time that whole evening, he smiled. It was like a little glimpse of Heaven.
We went out in the boarding area and waited until it was time to board. Gatmai was in better spirits, and loved watching the airplanes take off. He raised his thin arms a time or two, smiling and pointing at the planes taking off and telling us about the trucks that drove around the airplanes. I showed him my how my cell phone is a camera, and he asked to take a picture with me. I was amazed, this child who had come from the other side of the world, who he knew he was dying, and yet in that tiny frame still existed a curious little boy, fascinated by the airplanes and trucks and wanting his picture taken. And Jill, who brought this child home with her because she knew it was the only option for him, knowing he might not even make it through the night. I was overwhelmed and humbled at the whole situation.
It was almost time to go and Gatmai asked if I was coming with them. Jill told him I had to stay here, but would think about him the whole way. I drew a picture of myself and told him that it was me and I would go with him all the way to Boston. Jill translated for me, and he smiled. Then I helped her down the jetway and onto the plane. They were the last on board, the other flight attendants and I helped get her settled, and I said goodbye, and a silent prayer that they would make it to Boston safely.
------------------------------------------
A couple weeks later, I received an email from Jill:
Dear Colleen, Thanks for your note and your help. Gatmai did well initially. Then suddenly last week he became very ill and has just passed away. My heart is broken. He is the bravest boy I will ever meet. Thanks again for your help. Jill
------------------------------------------
Tears came to my eyes when I read her message. I only knew Gatmai for a small moment in time, but it meant more to me than anyone will ever know...
I will never forget his little smile and sweet spirit.
Thank God for sending us angels who help us realize how precious, lovely, and beautiful life is....

"Do you have any lotion?"

Three beautiful, older black women were on my flight one day - they were friends from childhood, taking their yearly vacation together. One of them stopped me as I was passing through the cabin. "Honey, my hands are soooo dry. Do you have any lotion?"
"Of course!" I grabbed a little bottle out of my bag. One by one, I dribbled some lotion into each of their hands and helped myself to some, too. As we were rubbing it on our hands, arms, and faces, they kept commenting on how nice the lotion felt and how good it smelled. I was pleased and thought the same thing.
One of them asked, "what brand is it?" I looked at the label and started to laugh. I handed the bottle to the ladies. They burst into laughter, deep and full. We laughed for about ten minutes, tears streaming down our faces. I'm sure we woke up the entire cabin! The label, to everyone's surprise, didn't say lotion. It read, "hair conditioner!"

My oh my...

An elderly lady on one of our flights was walking down the aisle to the restroom when she felt faint, out of breath, and was very pale. We sat her down in a seat and followed the proper procedures, (notified flight deck, put her on oxygen, got connected with a doctor on the ground, asked for assistance from any medical personnel, wrote up a report, etc.).
After a while, her condition improved. She continued to use oxygen, we gave her something to eat and drink, and checked on her throughout the flight. A passenger (who was an EMT) sat with her, keeping an eye on the oxygen flow and chatting with her.
Though she was feeling better, the doctor recommended that paramedics meet the flight and make an assessment. She didn't want them to. Knowing the hesitation people feel because they are worried about cost, I told her there was no cost on her part. She said she wasn't worried about money.
When I asked her why she didn't want the paramedics to make an assessment, her response stunned me: "When I get off the plane, I want to smoke a cigarette..."

More than peanuts...

Most people in the world think all flight attendants do is pass out peanuts...

THIS IS NOT TRUE!!! Okay, okay, we pass out peanuts (honey roasted, yum yum!).
But we also offer "complimentary coffee, hot tea, bottled water by the glass, a variety of juices and sodas, and for $5.oo each, we have beer, wine, and cocktails."

In addition to our snacktime at 30,000 feet, flight attendants ARE there primarily for your safety (which you already know, IF you pay attention to the demo. If you don't, please do me a flava and keep your seatbelts fastened at all times, and if a margarine dish looking thing attached to a plasticky bag falls from the ceiling, it would be wise to place it over your nose and mouth).

But what I'm talkin' about is the rest of the story.

Our mornings begin just as yours do, (shower, Starbucks, morning paper). But once we get to work, every day is a different adventure. Each day, I encounter hundreds and hundreds of different people. Each with unique personalities, backgrounds, problems, experiences. Add the flight crew, the weather conditions, the time of day, and the aircraft itself, and there is no such thing as a normal workday.

And so, in this bloggythingy, I would like to share my days with you. The good, the bad, the ugly. The smiles, the tears, the puke and much more.

Enjoy, and welcome aboard.